I love being a mom

Stephen said the other day that there is no love like the love you feel for your child. I always believed that abstractly but having Annika here has made me realize it intensely. I'm still on modified bedrest (that is, I can have a life but can't really do anything too physical) so I spend a lot of time holding the babe. A few people have said, "That must be hard/boring/tiring - always having to be with/hold the baby." Not really. I'm constantly fascinated by how no matter how tired or frustrated I get, I smile as soon as I look at my lovely daughter. I really do love being a mom.

Christmas and update

I can't believe Annika's 1 month old already! She's growing so quickly (9 lbs. 9 oz and 22 inches at her 2-week visit!) and becoming more and more beautiful by the day. We feel so lucky - she's such an easy-going baby, smiley and only cries when she's REALLY upset. Otherwise she's sleeping, eating or staring intently with her beautiful grey (for now) eyes. I mean look at this face!

We had our first trip down to Marlboro for Christmas. Imagine the back seat of our little Jetta with Annika in her car seat in the middle and a dog on either side. Everyone seemed happy enough - Annika even slept for the entire 2.5 hour trip.

Christmas with the Whitemans was low-key - we ate great food, relaxed, read and participated in a Turklet lovefest! We couldn't resist pictures with Annika in the Xmas outfit Yaya got for her - here are a few:

Yes, we're definitely turning into photo happy parents. We can't help it - she's just do damn cute! Look at what I mean:

 Thanks to Michael, Margery and Eliza for the fun times. It was great for Annika to meet her Aunt Zaza and to have more time with grandparents. Our next big trip - Cincinnati in the spring! Annika's first plane trip!

Turklet (aka Annika Maeve) has arrived

After a long wait, our beautiful daughter has arrived. Born December 1 at 1:49 am, Annika is perfect. She let us know of her arrival with the most beautiful sound in the world, a loud, bright cry! Weighing in at 8 lb 11.3 oz and measuring 21.5 inches, she's no lightweight but you'd be surprised at how skinny she is! Check her out:

We are happier than we can describe and look at her in wonder everyday.

Due to some complications with the birth, I'm on bed rest for another week. This means that Stephen has had to do EVERYTHING! I can't believe how lucky I am that I have someone who takes care of me completely. He has stepped up in a way that I don't think many people could - in addition to his own work, he's cooking, cleaning, and generally taking care of his family and household and still takes the time to come and hang out with us in bed. Annika absolutely adores her daddy - and he adores her. She stares at him and responds immediately to his voice and (for those of you who have had the pleasure of hearing them) his nonsense songs (Stephen loves to takes familiar tunes and assign his own words - and by his own words I mean words you won't find anywhere but in his head).

This is without a doubt one of the most wondrous times in our lives and we're relishing every moment. Annika is a joy and brings us immeasurable happiness. We look forward to introducing her to all of the people that mean the most to us.

Still here, still pregnant

Okay, 10 days overdue now. And truly, I'm 10 days overdue. I've had several people say, "Overdue is relative. You can't know exactly when you're due." With us, that's not exactly true. We know to the day how old this baby is. We could probably find out to the minute what time it was conceived if we called the lab! I think that, in part, plays into the frustration we feel when we're told to be patient, the baby will decide when to come. It's not as though we're playing with any uncertainty here.

In any case, we're still pregnant. And, yes, I've tried everything. I walk everyday. I meditate. I stretch. My doula or Stephen does acupressure on my every day. I've done acupuncture a few times. I've had my membranes stripped. I've even tried castor oil and herbs (according to a regiment given to me by my midwives). Spicy food, well, is not much of an option since I eat it all the time. And relaxing, I'm doing my best but there are times when I just have to let myself feel the way I'm feeling!

Thanks to you who have offered words of support and love. I'll keep you posted and hopefully have good news of arrival VERY soon!

Okay, it's time

I realize that many women wait longer than this for a baby (goodness knows I've heard about most of them!) but I've decided it's time for Turklet to arrive. I know that there's nothing to do but wait (Stephen and I have decided against induction unless completely necessary) but, goodness!, I think 4 years is a long enough time to wait for this little one.

Anyhow, here's today's pic:

I don't this this Turklet needs to bake any longer!!

Blue moon!

During an acupressure session with my doula yesterday, she mentioned that tonight would be a blue moon. I knew that it was going to be a full moon (and hoping for evidence of the anecdotes of its impact on labor) but didn't know about the blue moon status. She sent me this article: http://news.yahoo.com/s/space/20101119/sc_space/thereallystrangestorybehindsundaysbluemoon. If only amusing, it adds some punch to the mystical power of the day (and night) in our continuing hopes that Turklet is not, indeed, waiting to be born on Thanksgiving.

Also in our conversations, I mentioned to her that my Braxton Hicks contractions had gotten more noticeable. Her response was, "Well, that's an excellent sign - that could very well be your experience of early labor." I thought to myself, "Hmm, really? Labor without pain? Wouldn't that be a treat, even if it is only a small portion of the work to meet the babe." Anyhow, we'll see how that pans out - if the more intense tightening in my belly does indeed lead to more productive work in my body. As has been made clear, time will tell!!!

An attempt to amuse and inform

In response to a friend's request, now that I'm officially post-date ( the PC version of overdue) I'll try to post something everyday to keep everyone informed.

Yesterday our wonderful doula, Elizabeth, came over to show us some acupressure points that might help to encourage labor. Later that night, as we relaxed watching episodes of Deadwood, Stephen applied what we had learned. Nothing. Today I went to a naturopath who specializes in prenatal and labor acupuncture. She found the spots quickly and though I haven't really had any cramping the Braxton Hicks have picked up and intensified. Here's to hoping that that turns into something more productive very soon!

D-day

So, today's the due date. Pshaw! I don't need no stinkin' due date. Apparently there are two Rose "curses" - we don't do boys (as evidenced by the 3 Rose girls and 6.5 Rose grandgirls) and we are always overdue. I had my 40-week appointment yesterday and was hoping for a membrane sweep to get things going. Our midwives don't do internal exams until 40 weeks and then offer membrane sweeps. Well, things looked pretty good - cervix is soft and anterior - but the cervix was only partly dilated (1 cm) and she couldn't get in to do the sweep! 50% effacement at this point, which is better than nothing, but I was hoping for more at this point.

So, basically, this kid is our initial training in patience - over 3 years to get pregnant in the first place and not the babe's hangin' on. Look, I know it's cozy in there but I promise I have some very soft blankets and loving arms waiting for you out here!

To steal from my friend, Krista, I'm ready for this inside baby to be an outside baby!!!!!

Just a little update

So, had my 38 week (!!) appointment with the midwife yesterday. We finally had our car seat inspected and installed. I still haven't packed our bags for the birthing center but I figure that's okay (maybe it's just wishful thinking).

Everything looks good. Turklet has moved down but is not yet fully engaged. I'm expecting we won't see the little squirt until we're supposed to (I'm hoping not too much later!). The heart is sounding great - strong and steady - and this kid can move!

Anyhoo, I'm feeling okay if only a little tired and filled to capacity. I'm not yet in full waddle mode but am noticing the increased effort to roll over in bed and to put the harnesses on the dogs for our daily walk. Moving a little slower but still chuggin' along!

For the benefit of (mom's and sisters') wondering minds

So, I think the turklet is gaining a little weight - here's the different from about 2 weeks ago (36 weeks) and today (just under 38 weeks):

Geez, looking at them I can't even believe the difference. No wonder I'm getting tired so much more easily!! Here's to seeing the babe soon!!!!

You're due when?!?!

My entire pregnancy, I've had people surprised at how "little" I am. It annoyed me for a long time; we worked hard for this baby and I wanted to show it off to the world. Now, at 36 weeks, I'm in a different place. I'm still pretty small (here's a shot I took today - 36 weeks on the nose):

 Believe it or not, there's a good sized baby in there. It wiggles all the time. Though I'm not busting out, I'm finding that there are advantages to being a compact pregnant woman:

1. I can still find shirts that cover me up without looking as though I'm wearing a shirt three sizes too big.

2. Though turning over in bed is sometimes a chore, it's nothing like what I imagine a larger woman would experience.

3. I can still, relatively speaking, hug Stephen and not feel as though I'm giving him the old "side hug" or "shoulder hug".

4. When I cook, I don't have to worry about lighting my belly on fire.

5. When I turn suddenly, I don't tend to know over everything in my path (candles, lamps, small woodland creatures, etc.).

6. I can still get in and out of the car with (relative) ease.

7. As we discovered on our babymoon in Montreal (I'll post a description and pictures soon), I can still jog a little - and get there pretty much from a standing start.

I'm sure I'm missing a few but in the end it's not bad being tall - I'm glad I could provide such roomy accommodations for turklet - though we're going to have to talk about how much time has been spent up under my ribs!!

Now that was a growth scan!

So, last week at our midwife appointment, we discovered that my fundal height did not seem to be progressing at a normal rate. That is, it hadn't budged in three visits. Stephen and I were mildly concerned but soon didn't think much of it as we were reassured that it was fine. Then we got a call from one of the midwives saying we needed to go in for a growth scan (ultrasound) to make sure the babe was growing alright. She again reiterated that she didn't think it was anything to worry about - that it was strictly precautionary.

Well, we worried. And today I had the growth scan. Clearly, nothing to worry about. Turklet is measuring just fine and is estimated to be 6 lbs. 2 oz. That's right, folks, a full pound over the average weight at 35 weeks. [insert about to give birth to what could be a 9-lb baby nervous giggles here]

We also got some cool pictures. Well, a cool picture of the foot and what looks like the Shroud of Turin rather than turklets first mug shot:

Things are clearly getting cramped in there as it looked like someone was squeezing the poor thing's cheeks together the whole time. Big baby + small pregnant belly = cramped quarters for shizzle!

Compromised immunity

So, finally found the one thing about pregnancy that I could definitely do without - weakened immunity. Friday night, we spent some time with some friends, a few of which had colds. I had been sneezing all day but assumed it was allergies. Nope! Spent the weekend with a cold (Stephen was lucky enough to stave his off). Slept more than the dogs on Sunday but feeling much better now. I'm glad it only lasted a couple days!!!

Fast forward

I hope I get better at this when turklet arrives (since the whole point is to keep friends and family updated!!). Anyhow, we're now at 34 weeks - 6 more to go before we see the babe!!!!! My version at nesting at this point has become sewing with the awesome sewing machine the hubby bought me. I'm (finally) putting together a little quilt I started two years ago, sewing fitted sheets for the moses basket and just got patterns for sleep sacks and onesies.

The belly is growing though it's still pretty tiny. Here's a picture of us from this past weekend at our friends' Eddie and Sepi's wedding - it's true that black really is very slimming :)

We've gone to our first birthing class and have been meeting regularly with our midwives and doula. Things are getting VERY real at this point - the turklet moves all the time and loves to hang out under my ribs. I've entered my impatient phase - I love being pregnant - it's an incredible experience - but I'm ready to meet our baby! This kid is making its presence known and seems pretty ready to meet us too (it's been head down for 6 weeks now).

Yesterday I finally washed the basket of baby clothes, blankets and other washable paraphenalia. I can't remember ever enjoying doing laundry so much. Folding those little shirts and socks only heightened my excitement. It's been a long road and, I've realized, well worth the wait.

Tomorrow!!

Okay, I really suck at this whole blogging thing but I thought it would be good to give it a try. A little bit of nausea is starting to creep in (along with boobs I haven't had since high school). But it's all worth it! Tomorrow we get our first peep at the turklet! And maybe even see a heartbeat. I'm very excited and just a little nervous.

Early days, early worries!

It's all still so new and strange - after 3 years of nothing it seems unreal that we're pregnant. But I have the blood tests to prove it. That doesn't stop me from worrying. Someone mentions miscarriage and I worry. Someone mentions something I shouldn't eat that I've been having almost every day and I worry. My symptoms change and I worry. Does the worry ever stop?

The turklet has landed

After three long years and a lot of heartbreak, Stephen and I can say we're pregnant! It all started with "Squishy" and "E.M." (pictured on left). They were our frozen blastocysts left over from the failed IVF in the fall. They went back "home" March 3 and on Monday, March 8, we got two positive tests! But I'm getting ahead of myself. A lot has happened.

I went into the cycle very despondent. I didn't think it would work and almost called it off. The first day, I walked into the doctor's office and just had this overwhelming feeling of dread. After a phone call to Stephen from the Latham Target parking lot, I was reassured that I should move forward. However, even as the cycle progressed, neither Stephen nor I were optimistic. We began seriously researching adoption and what our options would be once we moved to Vermont.
But then the heartburn began. And the nausea. And the breakouts. And so I decided to test. And this is what it said:


The single most beautiful digital word I had ever seen.

And now, we're pregnant!